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I'm not usually one for blogging or journals, but it happens to be almost 4am. Coincidentally, it is the day after quite possibly one of the worst days for me during this pandemic. I need a second job now more than ever, and jobs are supposedly very easy to get right now according to my parents. I wonder if that is true or if there is such a great influx of resumes that it may not be as easy as they think. I chose to apply for grocery stores since that seems pretty practical right now. Our hours have been drastically reduced at work, and it is predicted to continue for another few weeks. Sadly, rent is due in a few days and I have nothing to give my roommate. On the plus side, I'm now motivated more than ever to get out of the borrowing from my next pay check to stay alive phase of life. Thanks to the progression of technology and the growing difficulty people have in paying for all the things they need, I have now experienced a step I did not know existed. I have now experienced something below living pay check to pay check, only there is no convenient way to call this experience and adequately sum up the level of fuckery it brings. My roommate has kicked me out as of yesterday. I need that second job more than ever, because as of right now I can't get an apartment on what I have in my bank account ($.88). {{Oi vey}}. I have some habits I need to quit to stay afloat and get back on basic groceries with no snacking. Boy am I gonna lose weight, but boy am I gonna be hangry for a while. I would be starting Humira right now for the arthritis and stuff I have, but I don't want to risk being on that when I have an autoimmune disease already, moderate asthma, and generally all around the body of a 93 year old woman. God I love 29. Outside of that, I have taken on the identity of an orphan in a way, developed a raging headache this evening, and forgotten everything I was going to say when I started this. It began to look like a therapy session, and I don't think I could ever put my actual real issues online. This of course led to me erasing a large portion. Maybe if I keep up with this thing that will change. Or maybe it won't who knows. TBD. Stay tuned, me. Yes i do reference myself as 'me' when I'm giving myself a hard time. Now it is time to peel Sammy Davis Jr Jr off of my pillow. I'll inevitably also disturb Lady Soft Paws, and she will stomp her way up to take his place but around my face. He's just kinda like a little loaf of cat. He's precious as fuck, but dems claws is real. These two kids are going to be how I stay sane during this all. Oh boy. Get ready kids. Buckle up. 2020 is gonna be a rough one.

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